this website is my digital scrapbook and a fun creative outlet to have fun and play with my toys, in a space that feels both completely mine, and away from social media restrictions when it comes to format. i use phoenix code and do everything from scratch!

i made this website in 2025, and prior to then, i had zero web design knowledge. i had used text editors before for things such as making text bold or adding links to images, but that was about it, i didn't even know how css related to html. not to mention, i was completely lost on understanding how i wanted my website to look. i've always struggled to identify what aesthetics, themes or styles speak to me, so even designing something cool felt impossible on a creative level.

i kept hearing about how easy it was to get started, and yet it took me months to take the leap. i watched a few tutorials, started with premade bits from w3schools and then moved on to making my own code. these were my first attempts, first is three days in, second is one week in:

it took me an entire month to make something that i could use. my game reviews section was my first finished page, of the ones that you can still browse as they are.

finding a space to be 'cringe' in without subjecting myself to the pressure of thousands of eyes was definitely one of the reasons that pushed me to create this website. with the advent of modern social media and phone apps, the userbase of internet spaces massively increased, and with so many people connected at any given moment it became harder to ignore the loudest, angriest ones — and i strongly believe it's because of sheer numbers, not people becoming evil, meaner or worse.

it's just way more likely that someone will leave twenty nasty comments across the 500+ videos they consume that day while doomscrolling, than it would have been back then in the comment section of something that they had chosen to click and watch in 2003. nowadays, there are a thousand replies to any given thread, all shouting the same things to people who will never listen. and sometimes i don’t know if i get angrier at bigots or at the people on my side, for being ragebaited like this and writing hundreds of comments trying to challenge the beliefs of someone with the username NoWokeZone69.

this constant flood of complaining and negativity was making me miserable, and given that, on top of that, i was also posting less and less on modern social media, i began to wonder: is there any value in watching any of this, when it makes me feel like this?

i deleted social media apps several times through these past two years, but eventually always came back: i wanted to spend that time i was 'saving' on something more productive, but i had no hobbies that i enjoyed anymore. so it always felt like a cruel, pointless punishment to myself, because i wasn't replacing my time spent on those apps with anything that made me feel better. that is, until i gave coding a try.

it can feel isolating at times: deleting apps and being clueless about ‘internet news’ (whether that’s memes, drama, or scandals) puts me in a position where i feel disconnected at times, not being able to get a reference that my friends make and so on. but it has been a year ever since, and in the end it really hasn't mattered that much, there are plenty of other things to talk about, and when i don't get a reference, they get to show the video in question to me. and that, to me, feels a lot more intentional than watching a thousand of them a day.

making my site has started a chain reaction that also made me dip my toes into other creative hobbies that are equally new to me. not everything can stick, obviously, and out of all i've tried so far, coding has definitely been the thing i have found the most fulfilling.

this is not a delete social media!!!! manifesto. being able to share my art and look at other people's fanarts was my escape back when i was still living with my family. i owe a lot to websites such as deviantart, tumblr, and facebook: allowing me to meet my friends, my partner, landing my current job through networking, and giving me purpose for a long time.

but i think it’s important to be in tune with how what you see on social media makes you feel, how it shapes your beliefs, the vision you have of your own journey compared to others, to consider how you spend your time and how intentional your scrolling is, and how you feel at the end of the activity. it can be hard to get out of a rut, especially when you are asked to break years of bad habits, but maybe defaulting to scrolling whenever you feel bored could be preventing you from starting on something else that could feel more fulfilling for you in the long run.

and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing! i still use tumblr multiple times a day, because my dashboard is in line with my interests (i choose who to follow and only see their posts, i can browse character tags and so on).

if you've found you relate to these feelings of mine, maybe this is your sign to reshape how you spend your free time!

the good thing is, sometimes things fall into place on their own quite randomly: a new hobby might find you when you weren’t looking, and it might change your outlook on life for long enough that you can take that opportunity to learn something new. and when it finds you, go for the throat!